Shut Up, Deidara
by Two Can Keep A Secret If
Summary: Three things you should know: one, Sasori really likes Deidara's hands. Two: Deidara talks too much during sex, and three: Deidara knows the cure for artist's block. Utterly plotless DeiSasoDei, just for fun.
1. Chapter 1

_This is my FIRST LEMON. Proud of me? I am. Anyway, I think I did a pretty good job but tell me if it sucks. Oh, and tell me WHY it sucks. If I'm going to write PWP it might as well be sexy PWP, ne?_

_So. This is SasoDei, but don't expect supergirlyuke!Dei, because you're not getting it. Just because you're bottoming doesn't mean you have to be submissive_.

_Warnings for: explicit sex, little bit of swearing (are you really worried about that? They're fucking like bunnies and you're offended by my use of the word fuck?), um, handmouth fetish (what's a Deidara lemon without it?), oral, anal, and, um... I think I've covered it._

_I don't own Naruto. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, well..._

_OHOH and I am TOTALLY taking requests. I want to practice my yaoi :3 I'll ship most pairings, so give me two characters and I'll do my best!  
><em>

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><p>"You've got some weird kinks, Danna, hm."<p>

"Shut up."

Deidara's eyes glittered with amusement, but he didn't say a word. He brought his hand up to Sasori's neck and licked a long trail up his throat, along his jaw to his lips, and pulled away. His other hand caressed Sasori's hip.

"Can you even feel this, yeah?"

"Shut _up."_

"Yes, danna, mm," Deidara hummed, ducking his head and licking Sasori's chest.

Sasori arched his back, throwing his head right back, giving Deidara's tongues full access to his body. Deidara was correct- the sensation was faint, but that wasn't the _point._

Deidara's hands. Deidara's _tools,_ the very thing used to create his precious art- on _his_ creation. Sasori's masterpiece was himself, and for Deidara to debase his own art for Sasori's sake was powerfully erotic. He felt hot, cold, everything in his body stretched taut and expectant, wanting without knowing quite what he wanted.

Deidara's hand drifted down to his cock. The sensation there was not dull, not in the least, and the sudden burst of _feeling _was almost dizzying. Sasori arched into the contact, body tingling, anxious for more, more, _"More,"_ he demanded.

Deidara grinned at him and then bobbed his head, wrapping his real mouth around Sasori's length along with his hand, engulfing him; tongues working perfectly in unison as Deidara took him in deeper and deeper, hot and tight and so _damn_ _good, _bringing him right to the very edge-

"Stop!"

Deidara pulled away, trailing his hand over it for one last long _lick, _wiping his real mouth on the back of his free hand. The loss of sensation was almost painful, but to end it now would be far too soon, and Sasori forced himself to hold it.

"Mm, _dan-na..._ what now, yeah?"

"Shut up," Sasori snapped at him again. Deidara just smiled wider.

"Yes, Sasori-no_-danna."_

If there had been a touch of sarcasm to that last honourific, Sasori chose to ignore it.

"Kiss me," he ordered. Deidara obliged without question, leaning in, pressing his naked body against Sasori's, the stitched on his chest-mouth rubbing against ceramic flesh. His lips touched Sasori's cheek first, ridiculously chaste, before giving up that pretence to take his mouth.

Deidara's kisses were never gentle: they were teeth and tongue and searing passion, forceful and demanding. He tasted of salt, mostly, salt and his _abominable_ clay. Sasori kissed back just as harshly, taking dominance, and Deidara backed down without question.

Sasori-danna liked to be in control, and Deidara liked to let him...

...most of the time.

Deidara pulled away abruptly, taking Sasori by surprise.

"What-"

"Shhh, danna," he purred, pressing his handmouth to Sasori's lips. Sasori kissed it savagely, finding that it tasted even more of clay than his real mouth had. Sasori devoured it, every trace of it, every last essence of Deidara's ridiculous _art, _destroying it as it was always meant to be destroyed. Deidara's other mouths- and he couldn't tell which was which any more, didn't _care_ any more- kissed down his chest, his sides, thighs, cock; licking and teasing and biting. He could feel Deidara's long hair falling over him and he tangled his hands in it, knowing that it would get caught in his joints and that Deidara _hated_ him playing with it, for that precise reason, and relishing it.

And then suddenly, Deidara was gone, and Sasori's entire body cried out at the loss of sensation, cold and _needing._

"Deidara!"

"Danna, hands _out_ of my hair, yeah," he groaned. "You'll pull it out."

Sasori growled impatiently. Definitely _not_ an apology: a demand. _Get back here._

Deidara just smirked at him, smoothing his hair and pointedly not coming back. He sat on the edge of the bed, watching Sasori's agitation.

"You've got a real thing for these, yeah?" Deidara asked, flashing his hands at him to Sasori's immense irritation. "You're not the first, you know."

"Shut up and get on with it," Sasori snapped at him,

Deidara grinned. "So impatient, danna, hm," he said, still not touching him.

"Deidara..."

"I know, I know, shut up, yeah? But you know, I've never met anyone quite so into them as you are, hm."

"Deidara, _I don't care._"

Finally, Deidara obliged, running his hands up Sasori's sides to his throat again, kissing him full on the mouth with one and bringing the other down to play with the border between sensitive and dull at the base of Sasori's cock. The sensation was unbearable; Sasori moaned into Deidara's handmouth, uncomfortably hard.

"One of my exes thought they were disgusting," Deidara continued, casually, as though he didn't have Sasori teetering on the very edge. Sasori, unable to reply with Deidara's hand still covering his mouth, expressed his displeasure by biting Deidara's tongue- but all that earned him was a smirk. "Wouldn't even touch me-" he broke off to replace the hand over Sasori's lips with his mouth, before pulling away again "-unless I promised not to use them, yeah."

Deidara did something particularly interesting with the tongue on Sasori's cock that made him see sparks for a second, and he thought privately that Deidara's ex must've been crazy.

"I don't care about your ex, Deidara," he rasped. "Especially not _now."_

"I'm just _saying,_ danna-"

Sasori sat up and pressed his lips to Deidara's forcefully. "Shut. Up."

He snickered. "Yes, _danna."_

"Get off me."

Deidara rolled off Sasori and onto the bed, lying back languidly. Sasori brushed his hands down his thighs and drew them apart, positioning himself between his legs, one hand stroking his cock, the other held to his lips. Immediately he took Sasori's fingers into his mouth, sucking, swirling his tongue, and when Sasori drew them out they were slick with saliva. He pressed one wetted finger against Deidara's entrance, pushing firmly but gently.

Deidara was no blushing virgin. He parted easily enough, accepting the finger readily. Sasori kept it slow at first, letting Deidara get used to it, then added a second and scissored gently. Beneath him, Deidara moaned, and Sasori stretched him a little more, pushing his fingers in and out in time with the hand on his cock, listening to Deidara's breathless groans of encouragement.

With Deidara adequately stretched, Sasori positioned himself against his entrance. Deidara was warm and tight and Sasori's body urged him to just thrust into him as hard as he could, but he reigned in his instinct, biting his lip as he eased slowly into him. Deidara let out a long moan, and it took every ounce of Sasori's self-control to keep his pace. Deidara mewled beneath him, wriggling, and Sasori's eyes drank in the sight; his hair spilling over the pillow, his cheeks flushed and lips reddened. He reached up, running his hands over Sasori's face, chest, everywhere he could reach, licking and biting, teeth scratching against his puppet-body.

"Ah- deeper," Deidara ordered. "Faster."

He was breathless and burning with desire, and all too happy to comply with Deidara's commands. Fisting his hands in the sheets he angled his thrusts, searching for that one spot that would make Deidara moan beautifully- and he knew he'd found it when Deidara clenched wonderfully around him, letting out a delicious, desperate mewl, grabbing at Sasori with both hands.

"There- right_ there-!"_

Sasori, teetering on the brink, bit into Deidara's shoulder and he cried out. "Sasori-danna!"

His name, _God,_ his name in that voice, throaty and breathless and Sasori _knew_ he was on the edge, thrusting deeper and harder and listening to Deidara's increasingly lusty moans as he hit that rhythm they both wanted, _needed, _and he could feel it building, tingling, burning; he brought his hand down to Deidara's cock and pumped him, panting-

"Deidar- _ah!_"

-and it hit him, sparks before his eyes, white-hot and _fucking_ _amazing _just as Deidara let out a sharp, high gasp as with one final jerk of Sasori's hand he came too, spilling himself over his stomach.

Boneless and shaky in the wake of his orgasm, Sasori pulled out and fell limply onto the bed beside Deidara.

"Ah... _danna,"_ Deidara moaned contentedly. _"Fuck."_

Sasori buried his face in Deidara's shoulder. "Shut _up,"_ he mumbled.

Deidara laughed, husky and breathless, draping one arm around Sasori.

"Yes, danna."

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><p><em>Review and you'll make my day forever and ever.<em>


	2. Chapter 2

_Somebody requested Deidara topping. Well, I took my sweet time, but here it is..._

_Advice is loved, requests welcome! I don't own Naruto._

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><p>Sasori frowned irritably at the puppet before him.<p>

To be entirely accurate, he frowned at the half-finished puppet. When he'd started this, he'd had so many ideas, but his carving had come out looking rather different than he'd expected it to. He ought to be painting it, but... his original design just wouldn't _fit_ any more.

He sighed.

"Artist's block, danna, hm?"

Sasori twisted in his seat to glare at Deidara. "And what would you know about it, brat?"

Deidara put down the short sword he'd been polishing and wandered over, peering at his work. "I'm an artist too, yeah," he said, putting his hands on Sasori's shoulders, leaning forward so that his long blond hair fell across his workspace.

Sasori snorted.

"Hey, don't be mean, hm! Just because you don't like my art..."

"When have you ever had artist's block? All you do is blow things up."

"All I do is- you just don't get it, danna! They're not just explosions! It's an expression of humanity's impermanence! The ultimate statement, yeah!" he grinned. "And I do get artist's block. Like- what should I sculpt, yeah? Art holds a mirror to life, yeah, it's got to reflect-" he began to rub Sasori's shoulders, moving his fingers in small circles on his back "-the situation, you know?"

Sasori leant into his touch. "Oh yes? If it's so important that you 'reflect,' what's with the birds?"

"Birds symbolise freedom, yeah," Deidara's hand ghosted down over his shoulder, leaving butterfly kisses. "Art is freedom."

"Mm- very deep," Sasori said, his voice a little huskier than usual. "And then you blow it up?"

"Freedom, like life, is impermanent, hm. Nothing lasts. But at least it goes out with a bang, yeah."

"And that's artist's block, is it? '_I don't know what to sculpt, I'll make another bird?_'"

Deidara's hands stopped. He pulled away, and then leant over Sasori to pick up the head of the puppet he'd been struggling with, cradling it in his arms.

"There's more to it than that, yeah. The size of the explosion- the subject- it's all important, hm."

"Give that back," Sasori snatched the puppet head from Deidara, placing it back on the desk and spinning around in his chair to face his partner. "Alright, then. What do _you_ do to combat artist's block?"

Deidara grinned.

"Art comes from life, danna. New experiences... or old ones. From emotions, from events, yeah. The best thing to do is walk away, take your mind off it, and let inspiration strike."

"Oh yes?"

"Mmmhm," Deidara nodded. "Why don't you let me help you, yeah?"

He straddled Sasori's lap, hands either side of his face, and kissed him full on the mouth. It was heated, demanding; Sasori kissed back with equal fervour. Finally, Deidara pulled away.

"That was such a cliché line, Deidara," he smirked.

"Mmm... I save my creativity for other areas, yeah."

Sasori snorted. He reached up, stroking his fingers along Deidara's jaw. "Oh, really?"

Deidara flashed him a wicked grin and swooped down to kiss him again, all teeth and tongue and heat, hands toying with the hem of Sasori's shirt. This time, when he pulled away, before Sasori had time to speak Deidara had tugged the shirt over his head.

"Impatient," Sasori commented, and Deidara smirked.

"Only following your example, yeah," he grinned, pulling off his own shirt and returning to the kiss, undoing the buttons of Sasori's trousers as he did so. The rest of their clothing soon went the way of their shirts; scattered across the floor.

Sasori wrapped his arms around Deidara's waist, pulling him closer to whisper in his ear: "On the chair, Deidara?"

He chuckled, low and breathless.

"The idea has it's appeal... but I don't think it'll support the both of us for long, yeah."

"Then-"

But Sasori didn't finish because Deidara covered his mouth with a fierce kiss, pulling him up out of the chair and onto the desk, sweeping the half-finished puppet head onto the floor. Sasori made to protest but again was silenced- when Deidara finally pulled away, he looked annoyed.

"That's my work you're-"

"Hush, danna. They're pretty tough, those masterpieces of yours, yeah? It'll be fine."

"Even so-"

"Oh, oh, always complaining. Come on, Sa-so-ri no dan_na," _he singsonged. "I told you, yeah? Let go for a second, and wait for inspiration to strike."

Sasori growled. "Inspiration is certainly taking its sweet time."

"Tch. Didn't anybody ever tell you, yeah? Good things come to those who wait."

So saying, Deidara pushed Sasori back gently, making him lean against the surface of the desk as he slid one hand up his thigh to his cock, lapping at the base of it with his hand mouth and winding his way up to the tip. Sasori gave a soft gasp, eyelids fluttering shut as he allowing himself to sink into sensation, warmth surrounding him, anticipation building in the pit of his stomach as the heat rolled over him in waves of pleasure. Deidara grinned; taking it deeper into his mouth and watching Sasori shiver.

"What do you want, danna? You have to tell me, yeah."

"I want-" he panted. "For you to- stop messing about and _get on with it_."

He laughed delightedly, swirling his tongue around the head of Sasori's cock to make him shudder again. "Deidara!"

"Mm, that's it, say my name, yeah," he muttered, bringing his unoccupied hand up to his mouth and sucking on his fingers.

"Oh that is _such_ a cliché_eeeah!_" he broke off as Deidara pressed one wetted finger to his entrance, taking him by surprise. "A little warning?"

"Surprises are more fun, hm," Deidara grinned, pushing the finger deeper into Sasori, taking care not to go too fast. Keeping one hand on Sasori's cock as a distraction, he stretched his partner finger by finger, listening to Sasori's panting. "Ready, danna?"

"I said- _haa-_ to get on with it, didn't I?"

Deidara tsked at Sasori's impatience, lining himself up for the first thrust. Sasori gave a deep groan as Deidara entered him, the twin sensations of the hand on his cock and the fullness inside of him almost intoxicating. As Deidara started to move Sasori threw back his head, red curls brushing against the wood of the desk, eyes snapping shut for a moment as feeling overpowered him.

"Deeper," he demanded, clutching at Deidara's hips as if to guide them.

Deidara obeyed, pushing in slowly, breathing harsh as he felt Sasori tighten around him. When Sasori grabbed his hips again, though, he went faster, thrusting in and out at a steadily increasing pace. Sasori moaned his approval.

"More, yeah?"

"Yesss," Sasori hissed at him, and the was word an order. He was teetering on the edge now, and he knew Deidara was deliberately holding back- keeping him taut and tense and _right_ on the very _precipice_ of orgasm, hardly breathing, desperately needing just- one- _more-_

"_Deidara!"_ he managed to gasp in a strangled voice. _"Don't _make me_ wait-"_

"So _impatient,_ yeah," Deidara whispered into his ear, voice low and husky, and then he wrapped his hand around Sasori's cock and thrust deep into him, hitting that vital spot and making Sasori's mind stop and his world explode into sparks, electricity coursing though him, entire body convulsing as the dam broke at last and the building pleasure washed over him. Another thrust sent aftershocks trembling through his body like wildfire as Deidara came too, collapsing bonelessly, breathlessly onto Sasori.

"Mmmm..." he moaned, low in his throat, and Sasori could feel the vibrations of his voice in his chest. He wrapped one arm around his partner in non-verbal agreement, still feeling hazy and euphoric, his thoughts pleasantly slow.

"So danna..." Deidara asked, voice drowsy, "Inspired yet?"

Sasori rolled his eyes and shoved his partner off of him. Deidara landed on the floor with a heavy "_Oof_," followed by laughter.

Sasori propped himself up on one elbow, casting his gaze over to the abandoned puppet head. In his mind's eye he tried to picture it finished, fully polished and painted...

"Maybe a little," he muttered, grudgingly. Deidara, still laughing, grabbed the head off the floor and hopped to his feet, dropping it into Sasori's arms.

"I told you so, yeah," he grinned. "Works like a charm."

"Oh, _shut up_, Deidara."


End file.
